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Hello World,
Eleven days! Eleven days on the Master Cleanse. Ok, not as much of a feat as the first time around, but I have officially begun my run to my goal of twenty days. I feel good. High energy. Lots of running to the bathroom, and minimal adverse side effects.
What to expect on the cleanse.
• You will get hungry --- I do not care what anyone says, hunger happens
• You will get tired --- Not to mention the occasional brain fog (air traffic controllers beware)
• You will lose weight --- Around two pounds a day too!
• You will feel like you have diarrhea --- Um....pretty much everyday
• You will stink --- toxins are on their way out of you in a hurry, so yes, you will smell like a cabbie
The benefits.
• You will lose weight --- Around two pounds a day too!
• Restoration of kidney function --- Drinkers.......this means you!
• Elimination of the bodily toxins --- They come out of every hole you have
• Leaves you feeling light, sharp, quick and clear --- Afterwards anyway
• Will clear up facial blemishes --- Zits be gone
• Cleanses colon completely --- gets rid of all that gum you swallowed as a kid
• Reduces inflammation --- heals and soothes ulcers, hives, cankers...etc.
There are many other benefits that do not come to mind this minute, but I feel so much better after ten days, I am going to do another ten. Wish me luck. Read the rest of these, they are hilarious.
---N
Hello All,
I am excited to be nearing the half-way point! I must say I have proven the effectiveness of this cleanse. 'How?', do you ask? Apart from this excellent blob. Yes I said 'blob'. Blog sounds stupid by comparison. Well. It is now nine days since I started this cleanse. Which means I have not eaten anything the duration. No solid food for nine days! Provided your narrator is truthful in his accounts, explain the massive amount of booty butter I just sprayed into the bowl. It looked like greasy ass pudding! Chocolate of course. So if I have not eaten any food, how do you explain the chocolate ass pudding booty butter? Huh? Explain that.
I will leave you with 'greasy ass pudding booty butter'
tell your friends! the master cleanse!
---N
Hey,
Right, so we went shopping yesterday. We got a book called "the master cleanser" by stanley burroughs. Oh and it is full of wonderful information about the "master cleanse" a.k.a. "the lemonade diet" a.k.a. "I think I just shat out a farm animal" diet. The latter moniker penned by yours truly. I have heard a lot about this diet and its benefits from friends, I have also heard how difficult it is, and stories about things of a technicolor nature coming out of people. Reading the book makes clear the questions and doubts. It doesn't hurt and no, you will not die if you don't get to eat. All the nonsense aside, I will be writing, for better or worse, the details here. Maybe this will help people to get a better understanding of how and why this is so important for your health. Your body has accumulated toxins from the bits of undigested food stuffs still in your body. Enough of this left over crap, and your organs get blocked and slowed with the by-product glue like residue left in the body and digestive tract. Death starts in the colon! Once the body is slowed and the build up increases, the problems set in.
Now I am healthy, thin, and active. I do not smoke or drink. I have also given up eating meat. Which I should never have eaten in the first place, according to the literature I have been reading. The body has to liquefy things before it can derive nutrition from them, and meat is very hard for the body to liquefy, plus the meat carries with it its own waste and toxins from the host animal. Think about it, the strongest animals are vegetarians themselves, the ones that eat meat are lethargic and often times scavengers. I would not enjoy being either of the latter.
I am not trying to change your mind, you do what you want, you will anyway. I am offering you a peek inside the mind of someone seeking a healthier and happier lifestyle. Naysayers can keep their negativity, they seem to enjoy smashing peoples sand castles anyway. I choose to build something better. After all, doing the same thing time and again and expecting different results is the recipe for madness.
So, here I go. For the past two days I have eaten only raw fruits and vegetables, drank juice and water in preparation. This is not stated in the book as being necessary, but I thought it would help a smooth transition. Tomorrow is day one of the cleanse. This ten-day cleaning party for my body consists of:
morning- a 32oz. salt water flush
day- 6 to 12 glasses of the special lemonade concoction ( i will get into the recipe later)
night- a cup of herbal laxative tea ( senna leaf)
the occasional cup of herbal mint tea as a treat.
So I am as prepared as possible, both mentally and physically. Tomorrow day one, we shall talk some more then.
