day five - march fifth

Hello poop heads,

Well today was day five. Another mark along the path to a completely detoxified body. I had really started thinking about this cleanse thing a few years back. When I worked 72 hours a week at a bar in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, treated my body like a Jameson recycling plant and smoked cigarettes like I was in the 1950's. I thought, there must be some way to feel better, surely life was not meant to feel constantly hung over. Remember I was tending bar, you get that job so you can drink for free, that is the point. I longed for change. Like a threadbare couch cushion, I was coming apart at the seams. It came to a point where I knew I had to just jump. To take a flying leap of faith in the direction of my dreams. I quit bartending altogether. Just quit. No other job, no back-up plan. Nothing. Just the will that I would make a living making art and the faith that the universe would support such a grand life changing gesture. I had a little money saved. I got a little more in the way of an envelope full of cash. Severance from the bar owner I worked for, a very gracious gesture on his part. I was off. Free. Looking for a way to make some money. So I did. I ended up freelancing full time as an illustrator for a year or so. I managed to string together enough jobs to make rent and keep up with my bills. I was no where near where I wanted to be however. So it led me to thinking. I managed to make a pretty big lifestyle change, and was rewarded. What else could I change to better my situation? That is when all these things started to fall away from my life. In turn my life kept changing for the better. I learned a valuable lesson. The outside world as you perceive it is directly linked to your internal world only you see. Change your thoughts, change your world. Or in the words of John Lennon, "the deeper you go, the higher you fly--the higher you fly the deeper you go"
So one by one I started eliminating the detractors. The things blocking me from happiness. Booze went first. Then smoking. Then red meat. Then meat altogether. Then all animal by-products. I did notice a change in my perception, my energy level, my thoughts, almost immediately. Now I work on training myself not to succumb to fear related response and to avoid negative thinking. This is not just some hippie mumbo-jumbo. This has changed my life. I feel like I am trying to sell you Am-Way or something. Heh.
Also, please do not be confused. It took me several attempts to quit smoking/drinking/etc. It was not like one day I woke up, decided to quit, and was rid of all temptation. I had thoughts of quitting all that crap long ago. It took me years to achieve it. It differs for every person as well, only you know the cross you bear. It is up to you not to give into it though, you always have a choice, choose rejoice :)
So now comes about the time when you are thinking to yourself. Is this guy serious? Or you perhaps are a witty one and have already had several jokes at my expense. Do not worry, I will not try to get you to come to my church or prayer group. I am not looking to convert you to Scientology or any weird cult. I am just writing my thoughts here. I am providing you a true story. Giving you information, perhaps leading you to question yourself and your behavior. Todays church lies not in organized religion but in the mind of the individual. The religion of the twenty-first century is that little voice that tells you to help instead of hurt, and create instead of destroy.



and I love you.
Go and make this world a better place to be.


---N


for my brother Adam, happy 25th birthday!