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Hello again,
So, for the four people still interested enough to be reading this. Here we go. I continue to have wonderful eliminations every morning. Its fun. So between the running to bathroom sporadically, I am totally used to the hunger and pseudo exhaustion. I have enough energy to spare, so that department is no problem. I have a slight headache constantly. Which is not pleasant, but manageable. I realize that this is not for everyone. For the people on the fence I offer these words. DO this cleanse. Ha, no but seriously folks....Of course I would use this arena to post my gripes and indifference. It is my outlet of course, a release from the abstinence. So you might not have heard all the wonderful things. In this modern age, toxic behavior has become routine. I am constantly working for a way of living that is simple in design. One that feels more natural. Simplified, the way originally intended. Not inundated with all this crap. I mean how many things can you fit in your head? your body? your apartment? It seems that constantly we as a people are barraged with ploys to coax us into a dependency on goods and services, material things that civilization went on fine without. This whole twenty days thing I am doing is not only about the cleansing. It is that. Also more. I wish to shun all modern adaptations of food in the hope that I come out a less dependent individual on the other end. Last time I had done this cleanse I went from vegetarian to vegan. I wonder what I will become this time? Maybe a balloon? Maybe a dinosaur? Who rightly knows, but I will say this...I will have evolved yet again.
Thats all for today, tune in tomorrow when I post my 'Master Cleanse Survival Guide'
see ya around!
poop
---N
Hello,
So here I am. Still standing. Much closer to my goal. Sixteen days in and I still want a sandwich.
I feel good. I will feel even better when this is through. All the discipline in the world will not keep me from growing weary of this diet. Just four more days. I will be eating by the weekend.
wish me luck,
---N
p.s. --- poop poop poop
p.p.s --- I know that is what you come here for :)
Hello interweb!
There is not too much to say about these days. My cravings have all but subsided. I do look forward to eating again and every once and a while I feel like breaking this off early. Then I re-think that and stay true to my word. I am marching on to twenty. I had some instances where I doubted the effectiveness of this ordeal. Then realizing it was my eating habit trying to talk me back into mastication. Each morning I was reassured again by trips to the loo. Simply put, I have not had a thing to eat in two weeks. fourteen days. Where is all this poop coming from? It is not like niagara falls or anything, but it is considerable relatively speaking. That is one of the things that tell me I am on the right path. Beware, anywhere you go while on this cleanse, you should prepare an ample amount of juice to take with you. 32oz should last you say four hours or so. Both on day 12 and 13 I was sans juice from 5pm to midnight. Headaches, yawning and a general cold feeling followed. Plus that really leaves you beat the next day. Every day of mine lately has acted like a milestone. I feel that if I have the discipline to break the eating habit, I can achieve anything. I might try silence next. Nope.
---N
Hello World,
Eleven days! Eleven days on the Master Cleanse. Ok, not as much of a feat as the first time around, but I have officially begun my run to my goal of twenty days. I feel good. High energy. Lots of running to the bathroom, and minimal adverse side effects.
What to expect on the cleanse.
• You will get hungry --- I do not care what anyone says, hunger happens
• You will get tired --- Not to mention the occasional brain fog (air traffic controllers beware)
• You will lose weight --- Around two pounds a day too!
• You will feel like you have diarrhea --- Um....pretty much everyday
• You will stink --- toxins are on their way out of you in a hurry, so yes, you will smell like a cabbie
The benefits.
• You will lose weight --- Around two pounds a day too!
• Restoration of kidney function --- Drinkers.......this means you!
• Elimination of the bodily toxins --- They come out of every hole you have
• Leaves you feeling light, sharp, quick and clear --- Afterwards anyway
• Will clear up facial blemishes --- Zits be gone
• Cleanses colon completely --- gets rid of all that gum you swallowed as a kid
• Reduces inflammation --- heals and soothes ulcers, hives, cankers...etc.
There are many other benefits that do not come to mind this minute, but I feel so much better after ten days, I am going to do another ten. Wish me luck. Read the rest of these, they are hilarious.
---N
Hey Kids,
So here we are....halfway to twenty. I am doing okay. I almost shit myself inside out today. Let's just say it was a "draining" day. I would be lying if I said I did not want to cut this thing off right now. I am feeling the ten days. They are telling me I am crazy. I am listening.
I am tired. I am hungry. I want a sandwich.
Yet every morning and most of the day, my body is pushing out all kinds of stuff. So that tells me that we still have some ground to cover. I also learned that in addition to cleansing the colon, I am also getting those kidneys clean as well. This is just worth it on so many levels. I did my share of drinking in my day, so now I am doing the time for it. I will thank myself when I outlive my contemporaries.
Apart from my bratty moments, my cravings, and my whining I know this is the right thing to do.
That is all that matters.
I soldier on.
The halfway point.
It is all down hill from here.
Cheers,
---N
p.s. --- I really do feel good, I have not weighed myself, but I have lost like twenty pounds of fat.
No more belly :)
Hello All,
I am excited to be nearing the half-way point! I must say I have proven the effectiveness of this cleanse. 'How?', do you ask? Apart from this excellent blob. Yes I said 'blob'. Blog sounds stupid by comparison. Well. It is now nine days since I started this cleanse. Which means I have not eaten anything the duration. No solid food for nine days! Provided your narrator is truthful in his accounts, explain the massive amount of booty butter I just sprayed into the bowl. It looked like greasy ass pudding! Chocolate of course. So if I have not eaten any food, how do you explain the chocolate ass pudding booty butter? Huh? Explain that.
I will leave you with 'greasy ass pudding booty butter'
tell your friends! the master cleanse!
---N
Hello poop fans,
So this day came and went like the others. It was a weekend day. So the with the stresses of a morning commute lifted, it set the tone for a mellow and relaxing day. I had forgotten the laxative tea the night before and skipped the saltwater. This left me stopped up for the day. I was feeling a bit tired and out of it all day. I had missed some sleep during the week and was worse for the wear, but I wear it well. So I made it to the studio in the morning to work on some art. Then made it to the flat to relax with the girlfriend. I drank lemonade, wanted badly to eat a sandwich and dealt with the growling stomach. Now do not be mistaken, you are not always hungry, just at times it hits you in a wave. This day was no exception. Fairly uneventful, I maintained.
---N
